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| This fire hydrant has hit rock bottom, once a connossieur of fine wine he settles now for forty ounce MGDs. |
This poor fire hydrant was found passed out and inebriated this morning at the Damen and Fargo intersection. All the AA meetings, interventions, hospital stays for detox have been for naught. He hasn't taken a shower in years and most of the time lies naked in the street. But we as a community shouldn't give up on him. The 12 step fire hydrant rehabilitation program is what we will enroll him in. The progress this hydrant makes over the next year will be documented here. He has fallen so far that it can only get better from here. The first step is to call 311 and get the fire hydrant cap he pawned for his last binge recovered.
3 comments:
To "get better", isn't he required to first surrender to a higher power....or something like that?
This fire hydrant happens to be an atheist Chip Bagg. He has had read alot Nietzsche and more recently Christopher Hitchens, he dropped out of college and was studying philosophy.
Aaargh. The devil rum will do it to ya every time I say. Ten lashes before the mast and 20 days in the brig will bring 'im back to 'is bloody senses har, har, har.
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